Kris Laser Pistol’s Platform

Politically Neutral/classic Team Magenta

The Internet has become a place where political bassholes ruin everything.

Games are not woke enough/too woke.

People naming their Hogwarts Legacy characters Imma Biggit, because they’re pwning Team Magenta.

It’s just a game!

We need to stop being political bassholes and stop taking the politics into things where it doesn’t belong.

Games, comics, movies and TV shows are just for fun, not for politics

I have one love in my life, games and entertainment.

I love playing everything from Halo to Destiny, to the Halo show. I love playing games, and games should be for fun.

Not for your political agenda shoved down the throats of gamers.

Don’t turn Ice-Man or Superboy gay for gay rights, it’s just not right – keep the character the character.

We need to just chill out and enjoy games, comics, and Movies and TV shows now.

Everyone is trying to nitpick all media, finding everything they can wrong with them. Plain Jane Mary Janes, ugly Aloys and all other things.

This is so tiring, there is nothing good according to the political bassholes who troll about everything. In reality, most of the stuff people complain about in the media is decent, good or better.

Influencers suck

I know, this might seem hypocritical, but Influencers suck.

Yes, I am an influencer, but most influencers are out for fame, clout, and money.

They will do anything to remain relevant.

Like the Neckbearded always going after Brie Larson.

It was sweet seeing her stare him down, taking the winds out of his sails.

I promise to make the Internet much better than this. We should have fun influencers who make people enjoy things again, instead of hating on everything.

Mental Health

That 1 Sweeper knows it.

Politics and fighting on the Internet only raise your blood pressure.

Anxiety and Depression rates are going up.

And the fighting will never end, because social media algorithms will find something for us to fight about.

We’re destroying kids lives with screens.

It’s time to turn this around, we need much better mental health supports. We need resources to talk about social media addiction. As the President of the Internet, I will fight for this!

I hope you will vote for me on election day. Perhaps we can bring sanity and hope back to the Internet.

This is Kris Laser Pistol, and I approve this message.

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