“Welcome Human.
“Because of my performance for the original debates, the Internet has asked me to host this new debate between the running mates of the Presidential candidates.
“Both are intriguing, since they primarily reject my purpose. They want an Internet that minimizes angry rhetoric. I do limit things, only 1 per cent of the users produce 30 per cent of the angry tweets, much of it political.
“So, gentlemen, lets us begin with your opening remarks.”
Some Coloured Dude nods at That 1 Sweeper.
“You go first T1S,” Derrick says.
“Sure thing,” T1S says.
“As the running mate of the HRS, I have been working with him to look at the…” T1S pauses. “The hostility on the Internet. And in his own, very warped way, he understands that the hostility needs to be dealt with.
“We want to create a strategy to help people who are addicted to finding purpose on the Internet, to find some peace. When you limit your world view to your 4’ phone screen, massively bad things can happen.
“While he focuses on just Team Magenta’s willful disregard to the greater reality outside of their phones, I think we can help all the people,” T1S says.
“I feel sorry for you, my dude.
“You’re trying to bring a horse to water, but getting it to drink is hard. You are so brave to accept his offer – but it must be difficult to talk to him.
“Well, we also want to look into these intriguing studies you keep pointing out. Like-minded people who hate someone, something, or a group of people will find it meaningful. If you start trolling about a topic, you will branch off trolling about everything based on that topic. And the more people see an angry the viral post is, the more people will believe it and get angry.
“These are important things to start to discuss.
“Look, you’re the bigger expert in these, because you focus on learning. I only want to create music, play games, and have fun on the Internet.
“If there was some kind of cabinet for this, we would definitely have you aboard to help us figure this all out,” Derrick says.
“Thank you candidates. If you have anything you’d like to address, do it now,” The Algorithm says.
“Thank you Derrick.
“It is hard to deal with the Human Ray of Sunshine. He’s so set in his ways, only looking at how Team Magenta takes it too far. He constantly tells me, every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
“That’s his excuse for all his behaviour. They must wipe Team Magenta off the Internet by getting them to realize how addicted they are to the Algorithmic Treadmill.
“And I would definitely accept your’s and Kris’ position in the cabinet, to help raise awareness about Internet Addiction and insane behaviour,” T1S says.
SCD nods.
“No problem dude.
“We only need to get HRS to realize how he’s part of the problem. He is just a hurricane – not pleasant sunshine.
“Do you have any thoughts?” SDC asks.
“I wish.
“He can only drone about how much he hates Team Magenta. Maybe we can discuss this outside the debate?”
“Name the time and place, we’ll be there?”
“I’ll DM you.”
“Excellent, we have something new brewing on social media. This exchange has generated so much reaction, it could go viral.
“But let’s go onto the questions now,” The Algorithm says.
“This TocBomb question goes out to Some Coloured Dude,” The Algorithm says.
The monitor screen has a girl with blue hair.
“I think what I just saw confirmation.
“Rachel Madcow says that Elong Rust is manipulating this election in his favour. The fact all of you are now conspiring together says something is just not right.
“My question for Some Coloured Dude is – When did Elong Rust buy your loyalty?”
Derrick looks at the video, then he closes his eyes and shakes his head, and then he looks at the video again.
“This is what we mean about political bassholing. People on both sides do it. They let social media tell them what reality is.
“I could talk to I am blue in the face saying I am not bought and paid for by Elong Rust, it won’t matter, she’ll believe it anyway,” Derrick says.
“I know, this is one of the reasons I stay away from politics. The only thing it raises is blood pressure.
“I recently saw a Team Yellow meme saying there’s unground submarine tunnels so China can cause earthquakes with nuclear weapons.
“Yes, I’m telling the truth,” T1S says.
A woman dressed up as Slave Leia walks up to the microphone.
“Nobody liked you Derrick, that is why ComicsGate didn’t vote for our and voted for Ethan, our Human Ray of Sunshine.
“Again, what you and T1S are doing shows there is definitely something happening.
“How are you going to corrupt Team Yellow with your moderate views?” That StarWars Girl says.
Again, Derrick and T1S shake their heads.
“Man, I have a feeling that no matter if the leadership of either side can agree, these people will never accept cooperation,” T1S says.
“My question was for Derrick, not you. You’re Team Magenta – you’ll ask us to poison ourselves with the coof vaccine,” The woman says.
“Well Annie,” Derrick replies and smiles at her.
“I am not corrupting Team Yellow, and I am not owned by Elong Rust. The more time you spend on social media, the crazier you think.
“I just want to make a social media environment that allows us to have fun again, play games without huge political biases, and rock hard!” Derrick says.
Annie walks away, and as she walks to her chair a fat blue-haired woman walks past her, sneers at her, and walks to the microphone.
“This is for T1S,” She says.
“Why did you stop producing political content. You used to put those Team Yellow people in their place. But now you say it raises your blood pressure and isn’t worth it.
“Don’t you understand, if you don’t keep up the pressure, they will win?”
“Look miss, no side ever wins.
“We hate them, they hate us, and it keeps going on in a cycle. The cycle will last forever, because The Algorithm has to make money for the social media companies. Angry posts produce more reactions.
“No Thanks.
“So, you will be fighting all day long, and arguing when you’re in a nursing home!” T1S says.
The woman sneers at T1S and walks away.
“Are there any more questions?” The Algorithm asks.
“No, these guys suck,” One person says.
“They’ll destroy Team Yellow,” Another says.
“No, they’ll destroy Team Magenta, you’re just plain wrong,” a third person says.
Soon, everyone is on their phone sending each other angry messages through Z, ScrewTube, and CrackBook.
“We await your final remarks candidates,” The Algorithm says.
“We would like to make a joint remark,” SCD says.
“This debate, and the questions show how warped the Internet can make people. They see enemies and conspiracies when there are none,” T1S says.
“I’m here to destroy Team Yellow,” SCD pauses. “And I’m here to corrupt Team Magenta.”
“Which is it, Internet?” T1S says.
“So human, which candidate did better in this debate – go to my link and vote today,” The Algorithm says.
The Candidates are parodies of real world Internet influencers. Their statements are hyperbolic exaggerations of things they have said and done in the past.
The Master Debaters live in the Webtastic Stories universe – a place of truly bizarre surrealistic politics. You can order your book off of Amazon.
$1.50 of each paperback sales goes to charity!
Do you let Trolls on the Internet get to you?
It’s time to turn the tables on them and shine light in their direction.
Sunlight is the best disinfectant!
Beatrix Nay’Robi is an outspoken black trans woman of colour on the Internet, but IRL Max White is anything but. When frenemies expose his secret on social media, all hell breaks loose.
Webtastic Stories is a dark satire story about the Internet.
With lying influencers causing drama for “fame, clout, and money.”
And the aftermath of internet drama impacting society and on individual lives.
And a glimpse of what life look like if we didn’t chase after every Internet controversy!
Amazing Gaming Productions 
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