Election Update – The Running Mates Have Been Declared

Last week, the Internet was lit up with so many conversations about the running mates it has practically gone viral. A whole five people were talking about it. This will change the world.

First, we have Kris Laser Pistol, who has choosen his friend Derrick “Some Coloured Dude” Brown. Since they share a podcast together, the Snarktank, it is only logical that this would happen. Friends sticking together.

I wonder how this dynamic duo will change the Internet. Both are laid back, fun loving, and just pleasant to be around. Many ideologues on both sides already hate them. Will they be able to help the silent majority find common ground and turn around Internet politics as a whole.

On the opposite side, you have Ethan, the Human Ray of Sunshine choosing That 1 Sweeper. From inside sources, we know this is a reluctant pairing. I can’t blame That 1 Sweeper, Ethan is a loud-mouth schnook. Apparently, Ethan wants to not be considered racist by choosing That 1 Sweeper.

He thinks if he makes the right choices, he won’t be considered one thing or another.

It’s so transparent that nobody can even take Ethan seriously. That is, except ComicsGate. Considered Caesar by many of the group, Ethan can’t do anything wrong in their eyes. This is what happens when you become obsessed with your enemies – you ultimately become your own worst enemy.

This election is coming down to reasonable people vs irrational ideologues.

This is Ducker Carlson signing off.